So usually I'll add a quote in here at the top before I carry on with my piece, but, as you can see, the picture I have included is a quote, so suck on that... haha...
I decided that with this post I would share something a little more personal, bearing in mind that it is still very much new, hasn't completely worked out, and is still completely up in the air. I am happier than I have been in weeks, and it's all thanks to a little change in perception, funny how something seemingly so insignificant can alter your existence in such an unmistakable manner that you will surely never be the same again...
Here I begin, and it shan't be a tale of woe, oh no, but a tale of fear, triumph and of the unseen magic spoken of in the minpins...
Once upon a time there was a boy (and by boy I mean me, and by once upon a time I mean a few months ago)... All for dramatic effect;)
I met my girlfriend a few months ago, though we had had somewhat of a virtual relationship for years, and seemed destined to meet each other... I, being the aspiring writer/beach bum that I am, tend to be excited by out of the ordinary love stories, particularly when being in the midst of one myself, and I start to forget the fact that it is real life and not simply a book that I am in the wonderful throws of writing...
I mosied along expecting things to go according to plan, and of course they didn't... There was an incident that left me feeling betrayed, and all of a sudden it wasn't the perfect story anymore, and I switched off, also putting myself in situations that were an utter betrayal to my partner who I had supposedly forgiven and who trusted me.
At the time, I was doing the best I could with what I had, I didn't know how to deal with the situation in another way. Yes, to many this may seem "wrong", though to me this seemed like the only way forward...
I was then sent a gift, from the universe, from the Gods, perhaps even from the inner workings of myself, the darkest parts of the deepest crevices within my soul that were crying out for peace, in the form of a friend who sent me the image depicted in this piece, and pointed out that the best love stories are complicated, but end in misery, the best loves are uncomplicated and triumph, for the drama that would lead them to the pit of despair, ending in a sinister crescendo, was simply not there... There was no need to heave along all my past baggage, all the reasons why I could not forgive this beautiful woman for a simple mistake, and instead brought her to a place where she felt betrayed, unwanted and undeserving...
We have instead decided to meander down another path, one where we have stripped away the past and started fresh... where I have begun by introducing myself once again, and by courting her from the very beginning, with a solemn promise to not bring anything into this relationship that won't uplift the other, a promise to always be honest, and a promise to try, regardless of past mistakes... We are using our past relationship with each other as a means of discussion, with an understanding that we are not the same people we can look back and learn from who we were...
We will do this often, starting over, allowing us to fall in love with each other over and over again, because we deserve it...
Love is work, love takes time, be patient and be kind to one another, remember that you cannot be someone's fairytale, you cannot be anything more than human, and you can't be anything more than the best you can be with what you know now! Once you know better, then start over and do better...
Much Love Freaks... Go and be happy!
The Epitomy of Loneliness
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with"
Oh how often do we find that the hardest part of ending a relationship is the inevitability of being "Alone", and of course, being alone means that we will be lonely? Right? Hmmmm, perhaps not...
What we tend to do in relationships, or at least what I know I do, is we forget who we are outside of the person we are with, we become so focused on being everything that the other person needs, we lose sight of who we are and who we need to be for ourselves... relationships are meant to be a partnership, where two unique people come together and learn how to function that way, function together, not as one... Yes, relationships will always require compromise, but where we tend to veer off here is we start compromising on who we are, instead of simply compromising on certain things that we do...
There have been many an occassion where I have felt lonlier in a crowded room than I have in my own company, although at the same time there have been many moments where I have felt crippling loneliness when faced with my own shadow and subsequent demons... Most of the time when I have felt the crippling loneliness has been shortly after a relationship has ended, or during a temporary separation within a relationship...
How utterly debilitating that can be, never have I known or experienced a fear like being faced with the realisation that you cannot be alone with the one person you can never be away from...
Why do we feel this way, why do we suffer so when faced with our own imperfections? Why is it that on so many occassions it is easier for us to forgive mountains of transgressions against us by the people that we care for, the people who are supposed to look after us and have our best interests at heart, than it is for us to let go of the simple misgivings we have found in ourselves?
We hold ourselves to such exceptionally high standards, when at the same time we allow everyone else to walk all over us, and we chalk it down to them being human and the obvious allowance that gives for the mistakes they will inevitably make...
It's time to allow yourself the same misgivings, it's time to treat yourself with the same compassion and empathy we treat others with...
We are all living the same life, all trying to trudge the road to happy destiny... At the end of the day, we all die "alone"... Yes, there may be people around you, but we embark on that final adventure all by ourselves...
Don't you want to take that journey with someone you actually like, what about taking that much needed time by yourself to figure out what sets your heart alight, where do you want to go, who do you want to be when all is said and done?
When you are feeling the most lonely is exactly the time when you need to be alone, wow, how crazy is that huh? Kinda like the universe telling you exactly what you need when you have no idea, when you are lost, cold and shivering in your own self doubt and lack of self knowledge...
You are a beautiful and perfect creation in your own right, all of those "imperfections" you see in yourself are meant to be there, they are there to remind you that you are a spiritual being having a human experience on this beautiful planet of ours... Remember, the essence that is you has chosen this exact life, these exact challenges that you face on a day to day basis are meant to be there to guide you, use this time to become the best you possible, and learn to love all of your flaws, as much as you love the best in others...
You're amazingly fantastic you stunning creature you!!
Go and Be Happy!! Much Love Freaks...
